Strength ...

There is an old quote that states ... "behind every good man, is a great woman" ... I have been thinking about that statement. Most of my life, even dating back to my childhood, I have seen examples of that being the reality. My Grandma Opal is the personification of that statement. My Grandfather Carmel is without a doubt a man that I (as well as anyone that knows him) admires and respects. He is strong, kind, and wise. He is the type of man that has never met a stranger, and would take the shirt from his back to help someone he barely knows. What makes a man like that tick? What gives him that level of confidence and pride? My Grandmother is the answer to those questions.

My life has allowed me this example, to see how a great woman can indeed propel a good man to a completely different level.

For the first time in my life over the last year+ I have finally *felt* what that really is. I am so thankful to finally have someone who can exhibit that same selfless and magnificent quality that was first shown me by my wonderful grandmother.

<3 you Jilly.

Riddle me this ... ahh the days of reflection, the days of wondering, questioning, analyzing. I have always been proud of the fact that I pause. I pause to think, before I speak, before I act, before I react. Ahhh but life is nothing, if not a balancing act. It seems that paying too much attention is not productive, yet it is quite obvious, in the behavior of others, that not bothering to pay attention is definitely no better. So the key lies in the balance, without a doubt, and it requires constant effort. One just has to be careful not to be consumed by those efforts. Pay attention to the detail, just don't put too fine a point on it. Some days it is effortless, just falls into place ... other days, not exactly, takes a bit more work, and is definitely more exhausting. Such it is, I still wouldn't trade the responsibility of awareness for the simplicity of ignorance.

I'll leave you with the lyrics from one of my favorites performed by one of the great Alternative Rock Bands.

Alice In Chains : Down in a hole

Bury me softly in this womb
I give this part of me for you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers
In a tomb...in bloom


Down in a hole and I don't know if I can be saved
See my heart I decorate it like a grave
You don't understand who they
Thought I was supposed to be
Look at me now a man
Who wont let himself be


Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, losin my soul
Id like to fly,
But my wings have been so denied


Down in a hole and they've put all
The stones in their place
Ive eaten the sun so my tongue
Has been burned of the taste
I have been guilty
Of kicking myself in the teeth
I will speak no more
Of my feelings beneath


Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, losin my soul
Id like to fly but my
Wings have been so denied


Bury me softly in this womb
Oh I want to be inside of you
I give this part of me for you
Oh I want to be inside of you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers (oh I want to be inside of you)
In a tomb...in bloom


Oh I want to be inside...


Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, losin my soul
Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, outta control


Id like to fly but my
Wings have been so denied

Rest In Peace ... Layne Staley

Behind Blue Eyes ...

The Who (a band I am not really overly fond of) wrote a song many years before I was born with the title Behind Blue Eyes. I recently found a remade version by Limp Bizkit (who I am not really a big fan of either) ... that was, in my opinion, a great cover. Funny how that works, 2 bands I could do without .... great tune, oh well, thats how it goes sometimes.

Enough about who wrote it, sang it, remade it, or any of that nonsense ... It is a song that drills into my soul. It touches a part of me deep down. Of course music (or any other type of art) has different meanings for each of us. So obviously its really all about interpretation, but what the hell, how about a few of my observations.

For me this song speaks to the evils of even the purest of intentions. It also stands to remind me that the majority of people shuttle through life completely unaware of the affect that their thoughts, choices, and words have on others. Throughout the song it points to the isolation that is created by actually being aware of what lies beneath the surface.

It is quite simply brilliant.