Outshined!?!?

In my latest addition of plagiarism I mean my latest blog. I would like to include the lyrics of one of my old favorite songs.

I got up feeling so down ... I got off being sold out ... I've kept the movie rolling ... But the storys getting old now ... I just looked in the mirror ... Things arent looking so good ... I'm looking california ... And feeling minnesota ... So now you know, who gets mystified ... Show me the power child ... I'd like to say ... That I'm down on my knees today ... It gives me the butterflies ... Gives me away ... Till I'm up on my feet again ... I'm feeling outshined ... Someone let the dogs out ... They'll show you where the truth is ... The grass is always greener ... Where the dogs are shitting ... I'm feeling that I'm sober ... Even though I'm drinking ... I cant get any lower ... Still I feel I'm sinking ... So now you know who gets mystified ... Show me the power child ... I'd like to say ... That I'm down on my knees today ... It gives me the butterflies ... Gives me away ... Till I'm up on my feet again ... I'm feeling outshined

That is Soundgarden ... Outshined (in case you didnt know)

Several things about that song strike me ... of course, it loses alot, without the emotional delivery that the band provides, but the lyrics are very inspiring as well. Especially if you know what it actually feels like to in fact be outshined. It is a given that we ALL have been outshined at one point or another, but I mean to actually understand it, to "get it". Not only to have that realization that you in fact are standing in the shadows, but to actually understand why it is happening. The side effect of that unpleasent knowledge is the realization that there isn't a damn thing that you can do about it.

So what do you do about it my friends?? ... Ahhh that is where things get complex ... the answer to this quandry is much more difficult than identification of the issue at hand ... this will take some processing

.... to be continued

Spring time

One of my favorite movie speeches (I say speech rather than quote because it is quite long) comes from the little known film Beautiful Girls. The quote is recited by Michael Rapaport's character "Paul" and goes as follows ...

Supermodels are beautiful girls, Will. A beautiful girl can make you dizzy, like you've been drinking Jack and Coke all morning. She can make you feel high full of the single greatest commodity known to man - promise. Promise of a better day. Promise of a greater hope. Promise of a new tomorrow. This particular aura can be found in the gait of a beautiful girl. In her smile, in her soul, the way she makes every rotten little thing about life seem like it's going to be okay. The supermodels, Willy? That's all they are. Bottled promise. Scenes from a brand new day. Hope dancing in stiletto heels.

I do not know why that piece of the script sticks with me exactly, but it does. Actually the character development in that movie kind of hits the spot for me. It will most likely be lost on you, so do not think that I am suggesting that you run out and watch the movie. Don't get me wrong, I think its a good movie, but it is a strange sort of story with odd characters.

I have analyzed my fascination with the occasional odd movie, or strange story, or not-so-funny joke in the past. I believe that fascination is directly linked to my life at the time. for example, the afore mentioned movie was something I rented during my fresh out of college days. Those days that were filled with uncertainty and promise. I had a handful of good friends and remember dropping one of them in place of each of the characters quite easily. Its funny, I watched that movie again recently and found my first guess, as to which character each of us would reflect in the future, was quite a bit off the mark.

That seems to be one of my greatest gifts/assets and yet a huge curse at the same time. I tend to not take things for face value, I generally factor in the whole picture when I process things ... at this point I am undecided if that is a good or bad thing.

Fascination

Life holds many fascinations for me. I feel quite fortunate in retrospect to be where I am at this point in time mentally. I have gone through … my dreamer phase (childhood), my aimless phase (high school/ college), my searching phase (mid/ late 20’s), then my current phase which I would term my analysis phase.....

I appreciate that my life has changed and evolved in that way, it has shown me that not everything is as it seems on the surface. Perspective after all is everything. Perspective is the most important part of the events that shape our lives.

That is where the power shifts back to us as individuals. Life so often is viewed as this “thing” that deals us these uncontrollable sets of circumstances. Blindsides us with things “beyond our control”, it has been my observation, that this is an over used excuse that people cling to. They cling to this idea in an attempt to side step responsibility, and escape the effort of the thought process.....

- This makes me sad - ....