Interesting Development

    You know what it is like to have life keeping you on your heels? Seriously, not in that "yeah, I get what your saying man" crap, seriously every time you turn a corner (or think you have), there is a fantastic surprise lurking just around the bend, waiting to alter life just enough to make you step back and reconsider what led you to where you are. I'll take a second and be blunt, I think that is a bunch of shit. I get annoyed with carrying more of the load, and working harder, only to see the rewards of those efforts simply become anonymity or better yet higher expectations. After all that seems like the accepted practice, find someone who will carry the load {quietly if possible}. Save the attention and accolades for those who require them, why waste credit where it is due ... give it to those that need it and demand it and let those that simply do without asking in return to go without .... enough of this preachy rant, I actually have more important things to ponder ... so lets get to it.

    Let me bounce this off of you, why is it that others are so comfortable with expecting, yet are so uncomfortable with giving? I am not talking about occasional moments, I am talking about everyday "norms" here. Follow me here, I'll take you to the next level. Lets analyze my response to the previously described behavior.

    I have a head full of "sayings/teachings" from my days growing up in rural Indiana farmland. I remember them very fondly these days, and make a strong effort to apply them in my daily life. I certainly wish that I had a better understanding of the impact of these teachings and lessons at a younger age, but back when I was young they were just "words". I have learned, over the years, the precious nature of those words and their enormous value. These words all make such simplistic sense these days. Things like ... "Treat others, as you would like to be treated." ... "If you want something in life, work for it, earn it, and make it yours." ... "Be proud of what you have no matter how little it may seem" ... "Do not boast about your accomplishments, possessions, and knowledge, a truly successful person doesn't need to make others aware of such things." ...  "Excuses are a weakness, they have no positive effect in your life." ... In a nutshell these and many other "words" have provided me with the perspective to set my bar.

    Now, I mentioned analyzing my response to the societal disease of "expect but don't give". Admittedly there have been times in my life, where I have bristled at the notion of "fair", but it didn't take long to figure out that "fair" is nothing but an illusion. Perception, consequence, and many other things factor in, and it is quite frankly, a maddening adventure to even seek out "fair" in life. So armed with my trusty teachings, my response was to actually buckle down and work harder. I do not do this in an effort to make things fair, but to actually simplify life. I quickly found, that working harder, when things aren't going smoothly, actually simplified life. So over time my conditioned response to adversity has become extra effort. This provided a positive enough effect on things when the chips were down, but as with all things in life, anything in excess is bad. Excess effort can turn that positive into a negative, by adding fatigue and frustration to the equation. Balance must be maintained, and that can be tricky at times.

    I believe in who I am, and what I've been shown throughout life. These lessons and teachings have given me the confidence to know, that a me first attitude is a lifelong ticket to misery. I have also come to see that being the mule that carries the load, only to be forever taken for granted, is equally foolish. Again comes the quest for balance, and the need to keep shifting, and changing, and rolling with the punches.

    I'll keep turning the other cheek, and trying to be a better man. I find myself thinking occasionally, it would be nice to actually quit absorbing so many freaking punches along the way.   

Just a quick post.

It is a music night and I felt like posting this one.

One of my favorites.

I'm Movin On ~ Rascal Flatts

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons



Finally content with a past I regret


I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness


For once I'm at peace with myself


I have been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long


I'm movin' on






I've lived in this place and I know all the faces


Each one is different but they're always the same


They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it


They'll never allow me to change


But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong


I'm movin' on






I'm movin' on


At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me


And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone


There comes a time in everyone's life


When all you can see are the years passing by


And I have made up my mind that those days are gone






I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't


Stopped to fill up on my way out of town


I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't


I had to lose everything to find out


Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road


I'm movin' on

The best season ...

    I used to be a summertime kinda guy, but these days I have shifted my preference. I really look forward to this time of the year. It kicks off with Mitchell's birthday and Halloween, then comes Thanksgiving, then Emilee's birthday, then Christmas ... and then another brand new year appears out of nowhere, full of possibilities and new memories.

Words

    They tire me, they have no value without some type of emotion or action. It has frequently occured to me that the more knowledge we posses, the less we actually have to say.

    Funny, I find myself speaking frequently, and for extended periods of time ... so to apply my recent logic, I must be lacking quite a bit of knowledge. Interesting thought, I dunno, maybe it doesn't compute, but there is the possibility that we speak to learn. Maybe we speak from fear. Maybe we speak because we simply dont know what else to do.

My Center

    Tonight is a music night. Music is a soul cleansing thing. It is where I go to find my center. It tends to ground me and slow me down. Below is a link to a tune that is one of my favs. It is actually from the soundtrack to a movie I tripped across many years ago called Beautiful Girls. The movie has a lot of star power, but was relatively unknown. I dig the movie, I dig the soundtrack. Check out both if you would like.

Beautiful Girl

The Secret

    There is a movie, that my mother first introduced me to, called The Secret. It is a very interesting, self-help type movie, that is filled with wisdom and common sense. If you have not seen it, I urge you to take the time to sit through it and really take the time to process the information that is outlined. Prior to watching The Secret, I was exposed to a similar movie named What The Bleep Do We Know, I also highly recommend it. Food for thoughts definately.

Strength ...

There is an old quote that states ... "behind every good man, is a great woman" ... I have been thinking about that statement. Most of my life, even dating back to my childhood, I have seen examples of that being the reality. My Grandma Opal is the personification of that statement. My Grandfather Carmel is without a doubt a man that I (as well as anyone that knows him) admires and respects. He is strong, kind, and wise. He is the type of man that has never met a stranger, and would take the shirt from his back to help someone he barely knows. What makes a man like that tick? What gives him that level of confidence and pride? My Grandmother is the answer to those questions.

My life has allowed me this example, to see how a great woman can indeed propel a good man to a completely different level.

For the first time in my life over the last year+ I have finally *felt* what that really is. I am so thankful to finally have someone who can exhibit that same selfless and magnificent quality that was first shown me by my wonderful grandmother.

<3 you Jilly.